Hey everybody, hope all is well with you. I’m okay thank you.
Well, if I was okay I wouldn’t be about to write this out for everyone to read.
The reason for this blog post is because I’m sick of hearing or reading about girls, women, boys and men being treated like shit basically. (Pardon the language)
So last night, I went out for the night clubbing because one of my friends was celebrating one of her last night’s here as she’s leaving to start university next week so we had all dressed up extra nice, done our make up, put pretty dresses on and off we went to the local club. Thursday nights are always jam packed because it’s student night and all the drinks are half price (and are ridiculously expensive otherwise) so there was a queue to get in when myself and a couple of friends originally arrived. We decided against getting drinks immediately when we went in because it was just so busy it would have taken ages to buy even the first set of drinks so we decided to just go straight through to the dance floor and having already had a couple of drinks myself elsewhere, we decided to start dancing. All was fine and good until about an hour in someone threw their drink all over me and without thinking I told them it’s fine and continued busting out. (Later on, I came to find that that spillage has actually broken the LED in my phone and now I have to pay to get my mobile fixed, sigh).
A little while later, it was just me and one of my female friends (we’ll call her S) dancing on the dancefloor, minding our own business despite the cramped conditions, the wet floor and the heat, we were still partying like it was our last time. Without immediately noticing, I felt someone from behind grab me by the small of my waist, pulled back and hands just holding my sides for a few seconds. I then heard an uproar of laughter which when I turned back to see if it was anyone I know, I realised no, I don’t know this guy and that must be his group of friends laughing. Laughing why? Because they were making a girl feel incredibly uncomfortable and vulnerable in such a short space of time and in front of so many people? Before I’d even properly registered what was going on, I felt this hand slide down the front of my dress and try and make it’s way up the skirt. Freaking out, I battled my way through the moving crowd (the hands holding me back as much as possible while still dancing) with me pulling S’s hand.
Now ladies, I haven’t really gone out that much but what I can gather is that this or something similar has probably happened to all of us at some point. And this makes me very angry.
I was absolutely petrified. I wasn’t the most sober person on the planet but then I wasn’t the drunkest either. I may not have been a known target but what I can gather is that this guy has probably tried this before or may have even tried it other times just last night. I don’t see how that’s funny whatsoever. It’s like cat and mouse, prey and predator. Fear is the main phenomenon and it works.
Before I get comments of “did you tell any staff?” or “you should have told someone”, no I didn’t report it and yes, perhaps I should have. But there was just so many people there that I guess I just passed the responsibility onto someone else and continued my night. This was my friends leaving do for God’s sake, we wanted it to be a good night. So I just shrugged it off.
This isn’t the first time something like this has happened either. Saturday just gone, I went to the same place and I was with the same friend, S and we were partying and having a good time when a guy approached me (and I’ll just point out on this particular occasion, I was slightly more under the influence), and he asked me repeatedly at least fifteen times to come and dance with me and do I have a boyfriend. Every single time I said “sorry but no I do have a boyfriend and no, I do not wish to dance with you”, he would flat out call me a liar and that I don’t have a boyfriend and that I’m just being “frigid”. Hold up. Number one, I do have a boyfriend. Number two, get your hands OFF of me, number three, I do NOT want to dance with you and number four, that does not make me frigid?!
Anyway, this guy then started questioning me like “what’s his name then” and “how old is he” and “why isn’t he with you right now then?”. I answered them all until I realised wait
Why do I have to answer to you?
He then started getting a little moody and turned to S while I was dancing with my other friend G and asked her “is it true? Does she actually have a boyfriend?”. When S obviously told him it was true, he pulled me aside again and told me that it was a “shit excuse”.
This guy was around the whole night. And that’s scary.
I won’t even go into how I got spiked when I first went there.
So, now you’re probably thinking “right, we get it. She’s angry. But what’s the point of this?”. Well chaps, the point is I feel like our built social norms of today have been built the completely wrong way. We’re not even protecting each other anymore. It seems to be whoever gets their own way (whether the cohort likes it or not) wins.
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?
We need to spread awareness.
We need feminism.
For all of us boys. You, us, everyone.
Feminism is equality.
And remember, no means NO.
Love, Courtney-Jane x